Transience
i sketched out my calendar
it was the first symptom
i divided an empty piece of paper
vertically and horizontally
gave time its form out of pure spite
makes one wonder
gave numbers to the days
and each one a sun, a sailboat, waves or branches
and thus made them my own
my, my, who wants to be the ultimate master of the universe
i heard my parents slurping their broth
in the rhythm of a ticking clock
you just can’t get rid of the rhythmical recurence of the past
helplessly sinking each of those days
yet egging myself on that i can do anything today
then trembling when i would shut the door from inside
looking for a future now
and seeing only worst case scenarios
atomic bombs, falling to the floor,
putting my head down and lifting the background
is that the thing to protect us all
the future was leaving
while i crossed out suns, ships, waves and brnaches
with a heavy head and closed eyelids
where both speed and light resided
i am tired
it was nowhere to be found on the walls around me
i let myself pass by me
so i want look and save myself.