you need whiteness
scary whiteness
voracious emptiness
and firm decision
a steady hand
as a surgeon (or a butcher)
relaxed thought with allowed whirlpools
entrances in pictures
without reconciliation on exits
the whisper and shout of the past never sing together
except in some strained poem
say something sad in the poem
everyone likes sad pictures events people
no matter how horrible this truth is
everyone finds comfort in someone else’s shits
and wants to see how someone wins
you must have the winner in the poem
otherwise they will think that poetry is indulgent
that the poet surrendered, though they are not always
sure what the poet was going to say
as well as many of the poets
when we heave truths around
we are all made of past
so dig pictures from yourself
the probability that someone else would find himself in them
is rather big
your troubles become someone else’s
and the road through buildings of the past
becomes a proper walk through ruins
like war tourism
which is another unavoidable
truth
whether we’d like to recognize it or not
gazed in someone else’s shit
filled with sweet shudders
in the spine back chests arms
ecstatically excited that we are alive
not being the others the perished
not being swallowed by the emptiness
26 July 2005
Translated by the author, edited by Elizabeta Bakovska