Confucius, or some other Asian sage
with a lot of charisma, said even a fish
wouldn’t get in trouble if it kept its
big mouth shut, father said. Most
of his sayings belong in unopened
Chinese fortune cookies. But it
seems more relevant than others
because we’re going to have fish
tonight. In some ways I’m glad
this fish didn’t listen to ancient
wisdom and opened his mouth,
because I’m tired of beef
and chicken. But just because
the fish didn’t listen doesn’t mean
you shouldn’t. I’m sorry if I
insulted the size of your mouth.
Keep your typical size mouth shut.