The Slavic Chest

/, Theatre/Film, Blesok no. 09/The Slavic Chest

The Slavic Chest

Scene 1
Scene 2
Scene 3
Scene 4
Scene 5

(Bela’s room in her family”s house. Tsetsa is lying on the bed. Hook enters, carrying two or three planks under his arms. He is drunk, smoking. She ignores him and watches TV.)

HOOK: Why didn’t you come to work today?
TSETSA: I don’t want to work for you. Bela sends me money.
HOOK: That excuse means nothing to the labor court. If you don’t work you’ll end up in an orphanage. You’re underage, you have no family.
TSETSA: Don’t worry about me.
HOOK: Do you know who’s here?
(Tsetsa lights a cigarette. Her hands tremble.)
HOOK: You still love him, don’t you? I can see it in your hands. (He suddenly pulls her up by the hair.) Get up, you lazy bitch!
TSETSA: Don’t you bitch me! I’ll call the cops, asshole!
HOOK: (pulls his mobile phone from his belt and hands it to her.) Go ahead, call. I know the cops. Since I don’t have a mother, they’re my mother now.
(Tsetsa looks at him, terrified.)
HOOK: Why are looking at me like I’m an icon in front of a Moslem? I just came from the police. I’ve got the permits. We’ll export leather without paying customs. Fifty-fifty. Go on, call them, tell them you want to live in an orphanage.
(Tsetsa returns his phone, looking at him confused. Hook takes it.)
HOOK: Wise. Don’t wake them up at this hour. Come on now, get up.
HOOK: It’s not safe for you to sleep here by the window.
TSETSA: You’re telling me where to sleep?
HOOK: (Pulls her hair.) Get up!
TSETSA: Let go of me, I’ll tell Temo!
HOOK: (Gives her the phone again.) Here, tell him. Temo’s my father. Since the police are my mother, then they must be his wife.
(Tsetsa returns the phone again.)
HOOK: Why were you standing near the window?
HOOK: Don’t play stupid with me!
TSETSA: Just a while ago? I was watching the rain.
HOOK: Don’t give me that romantic crap. You held a handkerchief in your hand.
TSETSA: I was crying!
HOOK: (Pulls her hair again.) You weren’t crying. You were signalling someone. It was Puppet, wasn’t it?
TSETSA: Hook, are you sure you’re well?
HOOK: I’m sure you are! (Pushes her away.) Shit! Everyone is waiting for our wedding.
TSETSA: What wedding? Don’t you know you mean nothing to me, don’t you, Hook? I don’t love you, I’ve never loved you. Why should you care about me?
HOOK: What about yesterday?
TSETSA: What about yesterday?
HOOK: I knocked at your door and you didn’t open.
TSETSA: I was in the shower. I had shampoo in my ears.
HOOK: And your crotch? What was in your crotch? (Takes a hammer out of his shirt.) Do you know what this is? This is a hammer.
TSETSA: You’re drunk!
HOOK: (Heads towards the window.) Yes, I’m drunk, but I’ll nail it shut anyway. Then you won’t see a thing. Hook is not stupid. Everybody in town knows he’s the boss, and you’re trying to make me look stupid!
(Furiously nails planks across the window while singing.)
HOOK: Pasha walls a girl in a bridge
watching from the top of a ridge.
Not a window nor a slot
for water or a pot
A pure, white girl,
within a pitch dark pearl,
into a caterpillar will curl.

(Tsetsa drops to her knees and cries. Hook takes out a rope, tying one end to her leg and the other to the bed.)
TSETSA: You idiot! I’m not Bela! I’m Tsetsa.
HOOK: (Doesn’t listen to her.) Good. Now you’re tied to the bed. Do you want me to lock up your crotch, too? I’ll swallow the key. Hmmm!
(Takes out a pager and hangs it on his belt. Then takes the phone and hands it towards her. Drops it near her legs. Takes an alarm clock and places it also near her legs.)
HOOK: Here’s the phone, near your legs. Here’s the alarm clock. Page me every ten minutes. Make sure each message is in a different style, but saying the same thing: how much you love me and things of that sort. If you don’t page me every ten minutes, I’ll come back and crush your dainty white legs. If someone sneaks in, make sure you finish with him in less than ten minutes. I’ll call you back after each message. There should be no heavy breathing when I call.
(Goes to the door, turns back and spits. Goes out. Tsetsa cries.)

2018-08-21T17:23:58+00:00 June 1st, 1999|Categories: Play, Theatre/Film, Blesok no. 09|0 Comments