Their conversations

/, Literature, Blesok no. 99/Their conversations

Their conversations


I feel so sorry for you, despite that all those things I told you that day on Skype, just like you mentioned it yourself in your e-mail, I meant…That whole rage or whatever it was, is now transformed into huge, huge grief. Since all that with Gorjan happened, I see everything differently…There’s no need to ask for my forgiveness…but I won’t ever forget a single thing you did…
The rest of the gang is OK, as OK as a person can be when something like this happens… We are with Ivan all the time, me and Comic have been living with him for a year now… Ivan’s the worst of everyone, probably, which is normal… It may be silly for me to tell you this, but you always want to know what’s going on with everybody – Comic and I are together… Sonja and Kiko are the most beautiful couple I’ve ever seen… They’re happy. It looks like they’re moving somewhere abroad… Maybe we’ll go too, I don’t know. I tried to convince Sonja to write to you, even it’s only something vicious, so she could make peace with herself… I think she needs time. Maybe it’s better if she didn’t write to you… You have your own reasons to nibble through the most beautiful things in the world.
You know, as much as you want to say you’ve changed and you are a different person, still you think the world revolves around you… this was karma… Maya, I remember clearly the context in which I said this that day, don’t twist my words… To think that Gorjan’s dying is your karma, I don’t know if you can fall lower…
We all blame our selves…Sonja blames herself for introducing you and Comic. She thinks if she hadn’t that thing that happened wouldn’t have happened…Comic thinks that if he didn’t got so hammered that night, he would’ve called you to talk and you wouldn’t have gone to Gorjan’s and he wouldn’t have run after you on the street… Ivan thinks if he had talked to him, instead of behaving like an asshole, because he knew about you two, everything would’ve turned out differently, Kiko thinks if he hadn’t been an idiot for taking so long to face the fact that he’s in love with Sonja, me and him would have met that night like we arranged to and we would’ve gone at Ivan’s to talk to him about you and Gorjan… And me… I think that if I didn’t go admit to Comic that I’m in love with him that night, he wouldn’t have been standing there petrified when you came to break up with him and maybe you wouldn’t have gone to Ivan and Gorjan’s so upset…
Maybe it’s all our fault, Maya, maybe it’s you, maybe me… Maybe some of our actions resulted with his death, maybe all of our actions resulted with his death, maybe his actions resulted with his death… I don’t know… I only know that all that crap from that day now seems too distant and too trivial. And you, Maya, you go on with your drama … you wallow in the same mud, you still want to trap someone in your disgusting schemes that below all limits …everything’s changed but you… I feel sorry for you… you’ll always remain down there…

With sincere pity,

Translated by: Olga Petan

AuthorFrosina Stojkovska
2018-08-21T17:22:36+00:00 November 9th, 2014|Categories: Prose, Literature, Blesok no. 99|0 Comments