The young man is calm. Completely. He takes out a wallet and a pack of cigarettes from the inside pocket of his windbreaker. He takes one cigarette out and puts it in his mouth. He makes a sound with every move. You can hear he is not from here. The creatures of the woods would know how to move without making any sounds.
He searches through the pockets of his jeans. Looking for a lighter. He gets scared for a moment that he has lost his lighter and he won’t be able to light his cigarette. Thankfully, he finds it. In the right pocket of his pants. In the small pocket within the pocket.
You can even hear the sound of the lighting of the cigarette. First the sound of the flint, then the crackling of the spark followed by inhalation. He sits and smokes. He looks for a moment at the pile of stones that he put together, then he turns his gaze in front, deep into the woods.
– You know, I’m scared. I would lie to you if I said I wasn’t scared. And I would rather not lie anymore. Who is there to lie to, anyway? There’s no one left. Who would’ve thought that the world would really come to an end? That the cities would be turned into wastelands in which no human can survive for more than ten minutes. That there will be no electricity, no internet, that the phones would turn silent… That everything will simply disappear. That we will watch people dying. That we will flee, that we’ll help in vain. There’s no one left to help, anyway. That we will succeed in prolonging the end until now. Who would’ve thought that? I don’t know if there’s anyone who has managed to prolong the end as long as you and I? I don’t think so. We were quite a pair, old man. Like two bears. Strong when needed. Hiding when needed.
I remember when I was a kid, I don’t know if you remember it too… I remember, you told me I had a guardian bear. Whenever I would get scared. A brown bear was following my every step. He was always nearby, in the nearest bush or grove. Ready to pounce and protect me. And then, when we were fleeing, the people from the bus, the refugees, saw a bear by the road. And everyone jumped on that side of the bus to get a better look. I was the only one remaining in my seat, knowing that what they thought to a be unusual sight was no surprise for me. The bear who caught their attention was the very bear you told me about.
True story. I would love if you could give me an answer. Do you remember, whether you, when I was a little boy, told me I had a guardian bear? I’m no longer confident in my memory. I’m no longer sure whether I have made it all up and I’m only remembering my own fantasies that I have taken a fancy too or did it really happen as I remember it. I’m not sure whether I really had a guardian bear as a child. Did you really tell me that? And I can’t be sure whether there really was a bear by the road and whether all the refugees jumped up to see it, and I was the only one who didn’t. I can’t tell the difference anymore between what I have imagined and what I do really remember.
I would love if I haven’t imagined that. I would love to believe in everything that I remember. Because, I am still scared, and these woods have so many places where my bear would know how to hide and watch over me.
They are really coming. The tremors of their steps are fighting their way to the barrow, to the pile of stones forcing them, almost imperceptibly, to slightly vibrate. Even the young man raises his head. He can hear them coming closer. It sounds as if they are coming from all directions. And they are noisy. They don’t care. The let the noise announce their arrival.
– They know that the world is theirs.That’s why they are so loud. There’s nothing that can stop them now. And they know it. But, don’t worry dad, you have managed to escape them.
He enjoys the taste of the cigarette. He is in no hurry. He is young, yet he smokes like an old man.
– I’m glad … I’m happy that you managed to escape them, but I’m sad that you are in no shape to give me an answer. That you are not able to dispel my doubts. Are my memories really and truly memories? Or just lies that I once told myself just because I could?
I don’t even believe my own memories. I remember thing which are impossible for me to remember. I remember events that I took part in, but they are just in my head… As if they have happened to someone else. It’s obvious I remember things that other people have told me, not the ones that I have experienced.
A bigger problem than other people’s stories are the stories I have been telling myself. Those are the ones that I can’t distinguish.
I would love if I could check this with you. Is it true, did you tell ne, when I was a little boy, that I have a guardian bear?
The young man has come to the end of his cigarette. He is already taking out the next one. The woods are getting louder. They are really coming.
– I could try to tell you all the things I remember? Maybe that will help. It can’t do no harm, anyway. Maybe there someone else in the woods besides them. Maybe that bear is lurking around here, too.